What can be done about noisy neighbors?

Our neighbor plays their music too loud. It's not that it's so loud that I can hear the base thumping beneath my feet. But, it's loud enough that I have to sometimes close the windows because I either don't want to listen to it or my child is sleeping. These particular people have other bad habits and approaching them seems a waste of time!

 

If you approach them directly, you are correct...they will be defensive and probably turn the music louder. Sometimes a written note can do wonders--when this happened to us, we wrote our neighbors a note telling them that we didn't want to infringe on their right to enjoy their home and life...but we kindly explained that we had a small child who had trouble sleeping, and asked that they please turn the music down, especially during later hours. No guarantees, but it did work for us.

Good luck!

 

If you don't feel comfortable asking the person, contact the HOA and kindly ask if they can send a letter. The letter can be general so the receiptant does not who the complaint came from.

-Teak

 

Why does everyone around here justify anything inconvenient with 'my children are sleeping'?

 

Can you still hear it with the windows closed?

 

As a parent, I can see both sides of the issue. When your kids are young, the time that they sleep is exceedingly valuable, and any interruption to that time means that either you can't get anything done around the house, or that your kid's schedule is messed up, and now you'll be up with him/her for hours.

On the other hand, I have a kid that can sleep through pretty much anything, so while I certainly do get annoyed at noisy neighbors (especially the ones who sit out on their deck at 3:00 AM and carry on a loud, profane conversation), I haven't yet had a situation where my kid was awakened by a neighbor.

 

Have a child first and then lets see what your position is.

 

I understand that children sleep and when they do that quiet time is invaluable, but this is about the fourth thread where someone used the justification 'my children are trying to sleep!' to put an empathetic side to the argument.

 

I'm with T8erman, have a child first, you'll understand.

 

I think what brim is trying to say is that it's like trying to put a guilt trip and/or sidestep a bigger confrontation. They aren't saying it's bothering them, but it's bothering the kid. But it really is bothering them, but they use the kid as a pawn =)

 

boomertsfx, you hit the nail on the head.

I'll also add that people with children on these forums always cop out by using the "yeah, well you don't have kids so you can't possibly know" excuse when they can't find a reasonable argument. They also automatically assume that anyone who has a different view must not have kids and therefore aren't experts on the subject like they are.

It's parental snobbery--as if financial snobbery wasn't enough to deal with around here.

Go through any child-related thread if you don't know what I mean.

 

huzzah! Exactly my thoughts...

 

But having kids does change the way you see things, no doubt about that. It sure changed me! I cringe at some of the things I did and said before I had little ones of my own.

 

Unbelievable! I never said it didn't bother me as well as my child. Was I supposed to lie and said it didn't? My children are a part of my life and sometimes things do wake them. I don't expect people not to mow their lawn or to not have their kids play outside. Noise from everyday life happens. But, when someone is just being rude, yeah I have a problem with it. Noise can be controled when it's music, it can't be controled with other things! I shouldn't have to close my windows because of rude neighbors! If I need to close it when my kids are sleeping because of lawn mowers, weed wackers or kids playing then no big deal. This isn't about "parental snobbery". Anyway, it seems pointless to go on about it as I'm sure I'll be accused of something else because of my kids. It's rants about this that make me sorry I asked a simple question. I was looking for advice, that's all.

 

hazy, I wasn't attacking you. I was merely commenting about how quick parents are at using the "you must not have kids so you have no idea" tactic. It's also interesting to see it backfire on them when they find out that indeed the other person does have kids (even though they shouldn't feel obligated to respond with that information).

The bottom line is...just because a person doesn't have kids, it doesn't automatically mean that their arguments are invalid. And just because a person has kids, it doesn't mean they are automatically correct.

 

poultry, I never said anything about others not having kids so they wouldn't understand. Kids or no kids, I would have found the loud music annoying as heck!

I agree with your bottom line...

 

Hazy, I think you're talking about me with that "backfire on them" statement. If that's your opinion, wonderful; you're certainly welcome to it. I'm not here to change your mind or anyone else's.

But, here's my point: people who actually have kids bring a shred of credibility to their opinons when it comes to child-rearing. If you feel that's "parental snobbery", then we'll just agree to disagree.

 

Hold on...I never said anything was "parental snobbery"! In fact, I disagree with it. That is someone elses quote (a quite clever one at that). I'm a parent and certainly not one to fit into that catagory! Anyway, I've had enough of this conversation. It's pointless as it's just going to go back and forth with finger pointing! Just to make it clear since it's so hard to read tone...I'm not mad or upset with anyone...just a pinch frustrated for a moment...it will pass like everything else!

I forgot to say thanks to those who had advice and didn't scold me for asking a simple question!

 

Hazy, I think upr_dcker mistook poultry's comment as coming from you. I think it was a simple mistake.

And these forums are full of examples of people with children being judged and lectured by people without kids. It happens all the time and isn't going to stop anytime soon, so you should just get used to it.

 

Yikes! I'm well aware of all the judging that goes on with people who have kids! I'm not one of them! And, I realize it will never end. I'm already used to it. Sadly, too many judge others and I'm not just talking about people with kids. The world is full of examples of this...but that's another topic for another time! )