Need Advice Anybody use an Au Pair?

We are seriously considering an au pair and would like some more information from other neighbors regarding their experiences with an au pair. We have one neighbor who has provided us with some invaluable advice regarding their au pair (they love her), but we would also like some lessons learned/advice from other families who were in this situation.

What agency did you use?
Where was your au pair from? Good/bad about that country?
What was your au pair's age? Good/bad?
How many children and their ages did your au pair care for?
Did you let your au pair drive? If you did, did you have another car for her or did you let her use your own?
How did you lay the ground rules for your house with the au pair? i.e. did you give her a curfew? did you allow her to date? did you allow to bring her friends or boyfriend to the house?
What did you expect of your au pair to do with your children during the day?
What did you look for in an au pair when doing the initial search?
What questions did you ask during the interview? Knowing that most people say what you want to hear during an interview, how did you know if that au pair was the right choice for your family?
The au pair's stipend is already set, but did you give her extra money each week? Did you give her bonuses or anything like that?
Would anyone be willing to let us talk to their au pair? Not about your family, but how she likes the program?

We will have a ton more questions when we interview with an area director soon, but these are initial questions we have. Thanks in advance for any information. We are just investigating this option and we still don't know if this is something that is right for our family. We want to be as informed as we can regarding a serious time/financial/children's welfare commitment on our part.

 

We've never, but our neighbors did. They hired through some agency the Department of State recommended. The girl they hired was from Australia, and was very nice. One thing they did say, although the cost was slightly higher than child care (not much though) the added associated cost of keeping the A/C -Heating on all the time, extra person on insurance for the car and other little unforeseen expenses was not expected. But I know the girl was great with their baby and took great care of him.

I can pass on these question to them, they have since moved about a year ago, but we still talk to them.

 

I'm in the process of filling out an application with chiaupairusa.org. I spoke with a woman who has her fourth au pair through them. She told me they are one of the cheaper agency and the local coordinator does a good job. Please PM me for more information if you are interested. Good luck with your search.

Below is a list of agencies that give you a glimpse of available au pair profiles without signing up with them.
http://www.aupairfoundation.org/ap-available.htm
http://www.aupaircare.com/host-families/au-pair-profiles
http://www.culturalcare.com/hostfamilies/availableaupairs/
http://www.goaupair.com/apavailable.aspx
http://www.aupairinamerica.com/aupairs/available.asp
http://www.chiaupairusa.org/featured_aupairs.html
http://www.usaupair.com/hostfamily/process.html

List of government sponsored agencies
http://eca.state.gov/jexchanges/?fu...rMax=50&mode=&state=&sort=prog_name&cat=2&sc=
http://www.iapa.org/Docs/02_organisation/Member_Directory.php4

 

Hi - our former neighbor (Chsalas) e-mailed us about your post. I know this can be daunting process, so hopefully this will help...

What agency did you use? We used Cultural Care Au Pair when we lived in Broadlands. We moved to Southern California about 1 1/2 years ago and switched to Au Pair in America after we moved, mostly because they have a larger group of AP's out here (AP's are not nearly as common on the west coast). I would recommend interviewing the community counselors/area director from several different agencies and consider your rapport with the community counselor when making your decision, since you'll be in close contact with her, especially as a new host family. You'll also need to consider the matching process since it's different with different agencies, countries they recruit from, etc.

Where was your au pair from? Good/bad about that country? AP #1 was from Australia (good - similar culture, native English speaker; bad - not used to driving on the right side of the road, although she got over that quickly and we were very comfortable letting her drive our son for short distances). AP #2 was from Canada (good - similar culture, native English speaker, great driver and used to driving in the snow; bad - I don't think she appreciated things as much because their standard of living is basically the same as ours). Current AP#3 is from Holland (good - interesting cultural exchange, very good English, good driver; bad - sort of rigid about her hours, although that is probably more of a personality issue than cultural).

What was your au pair's age? Good/bad? AP's #1 and #2 were both 19. The good AND bad about this is that you are more of a parent - they rely on you for advice and guidance, including regarding childcare, which I liked because I'm kind of a control freak. AP #3 is 24. She is educated (just graduated from nursing school) and more independent.

How many children and their ages did your au pair care for? Our son was 5 months old when AP #1 arrived and 23 months when she left (she extended for 6 months and actually moved to California with us for the last 6 months of her stay). Our son was 23 months when AP #2 arrived and our daughter was born 4.5 months later. I was on maternity leave for 4.5 months, so our son was 32 months and our daughter was 4.5 months when AP #2 started caring for both of them at the same time by herself. AP #3 arrived about a month ago - our son just turned 3 and our daughter is almost 1.

Did you let your au pair drive? If you did, did you have another car for her or did you let her use your own? Yes, especially in Southern California where the public transporation is not nearly as good. When we lived in Broadlands, we did not allow our AP's to take the car into D.C. (they had to go on the Metro). We don't allow our AP's to drive on the freeways with the children in the car, and their monthly mileage is limited. We allow her to use one of our cars.

How did you lay the ground rules for your house with the au pair? i.e. did you give her a curfew? did you allow her to date? did you allow to bring her friends or boyfriend to the house? She has a curfew on work nights but not on weekends (however, the car has a curfew on weekends). She is allowed to date, but boyfriends are not allowed to spend the night at the house. Honestly, this hasn't really been an issue for us, but I know other HF's do struggle with the dating issue. I'd be happy to e-mail our rules book to you if you'd like.

What did you expect of your au pair to do with your children during the day? I signed them up for classes at Little Gym, etc. and they also take them to story time at the library, on walks, to the pool, etc. I provide them with idea/game books and I expect them to come up with creative and fun activites to do the during the day.

What did you look for in an au pair when doing the initial search? Personality that is compatible with our family's personality and childcare experience.

What questions did you ask during the interview? Knowing that most people say what you want to hear during an interview, how did you know if that au pair was the right choice for your family? I ask about their childcare experience, how they would handle certain situations (i.e., both kids crying at the same time), how they are going to handle homesickness, what they like to do in their free time and how they expect to spend their free time in the U.S., about their driving experience, about their family. I also always ask "What does being part of the family mean to you?" because this will tell you a lot about her personality and expectations. We interview the girls several times and exchange a lot of e-mails before committing to a match, but this can be a balancing act if you're with an agency like APIA when several families can be competing for the same girl. You don't want to take too long to make a decision if she's talking with a bunch of difference families.

The au pair's stipend is already set, but did you give her extra money each week? Did you give her bonuses or anything like that? We give extra money for extra hours worked (although this is technically against the rules) and gift certificates for movies, restaurants, manicures, etc. for a job well done.

Would anyone be willing to let us talk to their au pair? Not about your family, but how she likes the program? Sure. AP #3 has only been here for a month, so she is probably not a good resource yet, but we'd be happy to give you e-mail addresses for AP #1 and AP #2.

 

Thanks for the info! That's great to know.