Street lamp damage rampage

Latka- If you have kids now, what would you have done, based on your experiences as a teen doing that sneaking around, to prevent your kids from sneaking out of the house. If my kid did that, I would lose trust in my kid and install an alarm system that will go off if they try to leave the house through the garage door or front/side/basement doors. I would NOT give my kid the security code either.

I have several friends that have said that if their kid continually leave the house and if they try to come back home, the house is locked up inside and the kid is welcome to sleep elsewhere at their friend's home or risk being picked up by the cops. I've heard of some parents telling the police department to let the kid stay over night there at the juvie hall to get a taste of what they will have to deal with if they keep doing it. My own father even told me that if I snuck out of the house, not to come back home to sleep but find somewhere else to sleep because he wasn't going to wake up to unlock the house for me at my own convenience. Tough love, I know. But it does work for some. For some others, the kids sometimes are turned over to state or county because some parents cannot control their kids. (Now, that is kind of extreme, I know...but it does sometimes happen with chronic trouble kids, which I think doesn't happen in our neighborhood.) How do I know this happens? I used to be a volunteer mentor to young kids that were locked up in Fairfax County's Youth Detention Center back in the mid-to-late 80s. The conditions were clean but the kids themselves were rough/hard on other kids that were in there with them. That really got my eyes opened up real wide when I had my experience there mentoring the kids there.

 

Sure, there are true problem children and measures need to be taken. But, I am of the opinion, the more you try to "supervise" (i.e. control) a child, the more they will try to test that control.

 

In Virginia, recovery from parents for property damage done by their minor children is limited to $2,500. (See Code of Virginia, §§ 8.01-43,44)

 

I do have kids. They are pretty much grown now. I lucked out my mother always told me that karma was going to treat me but, it didn't. I never over parented. There was really only 2 rules...you must respect yourself and others if you do that you can make decisions. If you don't, I will make them for you. Once they were in 5th grade or so, no bedtime. I figured they can learn that if they stay up too late they will be tired. I didn't spy on snoop. All 3 are responsible, productive young adults.

My parents didn't know, they were asleep. I turned out alright too. Funny how that works out. I miss the 80's, what a fun time!

 

CAVEAT: this type of destruction, disrespect and vandalism are inexcusable and I hope these kids are caught- the parents are may to pay for damage, and the kids are made by their PARENTS to pay them back for the damage.

THAT. SAID. until you have children of an independent age, you cannot speak from a place of experience as a parent on supervision. you can teach your kids right from wrong all day long and they will still go out and make a few bad decisions. those who say "MY KID WOULD NEVER" are usually the parents of the kids who WOULD and likely already HAVE. anyone who thinks their child is above a wrong decision even when THEY KNOW BETTER is foolishly naive and asking for trouble. from the moment you take off the leash around 10 years old and allow them to roam out of your sight, they are battling the "i know i shouldn't but I wanna" choices. what we teach them doesn't always stop them but it usually makes them think twice. and with luck their bad decision is much smaller than the destructive rampage that the vandals went on. but make no mistake: THERE WILL BE BAD DECISIONS.

I happen to have a GOOD KID who has definitely made BAD CHOICES. it's not because WE didn't teach him any better, or because the consequences weren't severe enough to be a deterrent- it's because pushing the envelope, bucking the system and rebelling are part of growing up and 99% of us admit that we BROKE THE RULES as kids. the other 1% are lying to ourselves. just because we maybe weren't caught AND just because we made a bad choice doesn't mean our parents didn't do their jobs. I know plenty of crappy parents in this neighborhood-PLENTY- whose kids toe the line and have no interest in rebelling. I know involved, caring, smart, up-in-their-kid's-bizniz parents whose kids have made and still make AWFUL AWFUL choices.

If you hire an electrician and he does a lousy job, do you sue his school for not making him a better electician? NO. you hold him accountable for his shoddy work and his consequences are bad reviews and lack of biz. he had the opportunity to do a better job and he CHOSE not to.

SAME WITH KIDS. my job as a mom is to give him the tools to make good decisions, and when he doesn't- give him consequences to hopefully deter a "next time" from happening. yes make the parents PAY for his damages since he's a minor but make HIM accountable for his choices- from the moment you give him/her freedom, the responsibility to CHOOSE becomes his/hers, and the consequences are MINE to choose. why give brats an out- "my parents didn't teach me better" BS. That's up there with that unbelieveably insane AFFLUENZA. look it up if you haven't heard of it- your HEAD will explode.

My job is NOT to make a perfect child that never steps out of bounds- NO ONE has that. If you think you do, you just haven't caught them yet and shame on you for fooling yourself into thinking "my child would NEVER" because you are creating the safe place that he/she will hide when he is caught, b/c you won't believe it and will defend them to the end. Kids who get to blame others for their actions become ADULTS who do the same.

ok I'm done.

 

So you are saying that the victims won't get all the money back for the damage the kids caused? So what other recourse do the victims have? This is CRAZY that the parents don't have to pay over $2,500 for the damages. But does that mean each victim can sue each of the kids for 2,500? e.g. Victim 1 sues all 6 kids...they all pay 2,500 each to the victim 1. Victim 2 sues all 6 kids, they all pay 2,500 each as well? Or is it 2,500 per incident or per victim?

Wow...that is amazing that the law caps the damages so if a kid does 25K worth of damage, the kid's parents only are liable for $2,500? What can be done by victims who cause that much damage over the 2.5K cap? I shudder to think of the victims being left holding the bag for the damages that exceed 2.5K - This isn't fair at all....IMHO.

 

Hikvision makes some great and affordable cameras. I just posted some examples of a similar camera at
http://www.broadlandshoa.org/hoafor...tion-ip-surveillance.23522/page-2#post-182519
http://www.amazon.com/Hikvision-DS-...MEOG/ref=pd_bxgy_p_text_y/188-6546424-8522732

 

I have that camera as well.

 

......and my parents didn't give a crap...I would leave whenever I wanted to, destroy whatever I wanted to (including most of a public golf course), do whatever I wanted to do.....again my parents didn't give a crap...they didn't instill values in me, didn't tell me what was right from wrong, gave their four kids drugs starting when we were 6 years old, etc. I can go on and on. On the destruction of property front, I knew what I was doing was wrong and for the most part I was going with the crew but I should NOT have been there. Driving 25 golf carts into a lake when you are ten years old is something you should never be in a position to do....period.

My parents were weak...they would rather try to be friends then set an example of the way you should lead a life.

If you are thinking I am on my high horse, let me tell you that you did not sit in the car while your dad banged his secretary every week.

Parents have a huge influence in the things you do and do not do.

As I grew up, I had one moto..."don't do what my parents did". Now, I have five great kids and they have good friends, exceptional grades, they don't sneak out, they don't destroy things, they look after others, they truly care about our neighborhood and doing what I would call "the right thing".

...and one thing I am certain....my kids did not/will not/would not destroy their neighborhood like these little punks did.

 

Of course they do and they are responsible for the damage however, even good parents have kids who make dumb choices. Teens brains don't work right it's a scientific fact. They are , because you won't have a clue because teen are resourceful and figure out how to get around your constant supervision and like T8 said, that tends to backfire.

 

Did you ever go back when you were much older as an adult either to apologize or at least make some sort of restitution for the damage? WOW....25 cars into the lake and destroying most of a public golf course?

 

Setting an example is the best thing you can do. I'm sorry you had that kind of childhood.

 

Is the HOA collecting a repository of photographic evidence pertaining to the damages?

 

When my group of friends set out to egg some houses in my early teens my friends made me go home. "Steve if we get caught your Dad will kill you and then all of us." That was the life of a son being raised by a retired Drill Sergeant for the 101st, Screaming Eagles...

 

Just joined the forum. Its great to see so many discussions going on here.

Today when we reached home in the evening, we saw that our mailbox pole was slightly bent. On closer look, we realized the mailbox had been broken from the pole and on touching it, it just fell apart on the ground. I feel it was broken by someone intentionally since this is the second time it was attempted. This time it is completely broken.

About three weeks back, we came back home to realize the mailbox pole was bent at 60 degrees from the ground. On looking at the soil, we could say somebody tried to take the stone away, dig some soil to make pole's foundation weak and then was successful in bending the pole. It seems somebody put some effort in uprooting the pole.

Not sure how to react to this. I have written to HOA reporting this incident. Lets see.

You guys keep a watch in case it happens near your house too!

 

So damage is still happening then? No one caught?

 

I think one of you needs to open a side business installing cameras! As someone that struggles with basic home repairs, I KNOW this is something I could never do on my own!

 

Do we really want a community full of camera's watching us? My mailbox has been vandalized and we have been egged but I'd rather have a private camera free life. It's just not worth it.

 

"Do we really want a community full of camera's watching us? My mailbox has been vandalized and we have been egged but I'd rather have a private camera free life. It's just not worth it."

My neighbor used to say the same thing before a car pulled up outside his house and someone solicited his girls playing in the front yard. My cameras caught the car and plates. There is value to security cameras and a piece of mind.

 

What happened to the perp?