Broadlands Man almost Dies

We could jsut get rid of the pedestrians

Just kidding.

All joking aside, the cars, the bikes, and the pedestrians are all dangerous in the area.
I've had to dodge pedestrians who just don't look when they step out into the road.

I've had to dodge people running stop signs on bikes ( WO&D trail ).

I've had to dodge people running stop signs and stop lights in cars.

I don't know if it's just the kids driving, but I see alot of parents in mini-vans hauling down demott.

I walk with my daughter in her stroller once in awhile, and it really irritates me when some mini-van ( usually green ) comes hauling around the cornor at approx 40mph.

I know I don't always driver terribly slow, but not that fast either.

Maybe the problem is that some of the people get to caught up with themselves that they don't think of others?

Just some different thoughts.

 

my 11 year old was commenting on how people cut in line/run into you/stand in front of you withthismuchspace between you/hold up lines while they fiddle with their car keys and asked me about it. My reply was that most people don't seem to look beyond their own nose.

 

Dang - you can't blame the parents for everything. You try to teach your kids the right way but driving teenagers ARE going to push the limits. Working parents can't be in the car with them all the time.

 

If it's any consolation we are lucky to be in the US where the laws overall are obeyed. Try driving in India, Italy or Turkey where laws are only suggestions and in addition to the drivers you have to watch out for pedestrians, bicycles, camels, elephants, water buffalos, etc. Additionally you will sometimes see boys as young as 10 years old behind the wheel. I remember one time in New Delhi an elderly man was attempting to cross a busy intersection and was hit by a car. Noone stopped and traffic continued to just swerve around the poor man.

 

I understand parent not watch child all time when old enuogh drive but need to take responsable when child speed. If you dog kill nieghbor cat you responsable. If you child kill person in car you gave your responsable. To parent that say "I not responsable what my child do when I at work" I say not have child if can not teach good. Sorry not mean to make mad but I not understand why parent not want raise child good and take responsable. People not responsable for nothing!

 

Dang is my hero!

 

Thanks but no hero just make sense. You make child must take responsable for what it do. It steal you have take responsable. It kill you have take responsable. Why people here not understand?

 

I agree...people here don't want to hear that, though. I think parents are so scared that if they tell their kid 'no' or deny them privliges then the child will hate them and they'll have a bad relationship. I know growing up when my parents punished me, I would think "I'd never do that to my kid! I'd let them have fun!" and I was mad for a while....but I got over it. I think some parents never realized their parents were right all along and want to be more of a 'pal' to their kids than a disciplinary/authority figure.

Also, I think a lot of people aren't emotionally ready to have kids when they do. Not to say the kid is a mistake, but people think they're ready and they're not.

 

You right brim. If child not mad with parent then parent probable spoil child. When adult age child see that parent good for teach limits and responsable. Then respect parent.

 

And when does the parents responsibility stop? 18, 21, 30, till they day the parent dies? They will always be your child. If we don't hold our children responsible for THEIR actions, how can they grow up to be responsible adults???

Oh, and your are trying to equate dogs and cats with children? Please tell me no!

 

Once again Brim, you really should have a child before you comment. As I said before, ALL the rules change. This is not meant as a flame as I use to think like you did (mostly). But then I had a child and my world was turned upside down (in a good way!)

 

I think he's saying the same thing you are. Parents are responsible for their kids which includes them holding their kid accountable for their actions.

 

I don't understand how people think that having a child all of a sudden gives them clairvoyance and knowledge above everyone else.

What I said is just common sense, you don't have to have a kid to have common sense. If you're a kid and your parent punishes you for doing something you think is fun and harmless, of course you're going to begrudge them or be mad, if only for a little while.

I fail to understand how having a kid would change your viewpoint on this subject. I guess it all depends oh how you were raised...

And I think we all agreed that 18 was the limit for parental responsibility a while ago...after that they're legally an adult.

 

Brim,

I'm not going to give you a hard time about not having kids -- you take a lot of "abuse" on these forums about it.

Clearly, however, it would appear that you don't like children and you have no respect for parents. Every time a thread comes up that discusses parents and/or children, you make generalizations about the incompetence of parents and our children's lack of discipline.

I'm curious how/where your impressions are formed. If I remember correctly, your wife is a social worker. If you are basing your opinions on examples from your wife's experiences, I would suggest that they are based on some of the saddest and most exceptional examples from our society.

I am a parent and have lots of family and friends who are parents, and I am here to tell you that VERY FEW of us are as bad as you make us out to be. We love our children, we discipline them, and we do our very best to protect them and raise them well. Our kids are not born with an instruction manual, however, so we are bound to make some mistakes.

I would just ask that you keep this in mind before you post another generalization about the failings of ourselves and our children. Thanks.

 

I never said I didn't like kids or respect parents. It's an incredibly hard and demanding job being a parent and I have all the respect in the world for those that do it well. I don't have respect for those that don't, though. The ones that let their kids run roughshod all over the place with no discipline or control over them. Usually when a thread/this issue comes up, it's discussing the misbehavior of a child so I think generalizations about poor parenting are appropriate in that situation.

They're formed from my own observations. You can see poor parenting everywhere; the mall, the grocery store, restaurants, etc. These are the middle/upper class examples, the examples of lower class parenting I do get from her experiences. Those examples are the extreme; sexual/physical/emotional abuse and neglect and the like. I've never compared anything in these forums to that. My main beef is with the parents in a restaurant where their kid is throwing food and screaming and they don't take it outside to calm it down...they just smile and say 'Oh he/she's a handfull!'. Lack of discipline/control is all I'm talking about...

I agree with you, most parents are good parents and they do their best to raise their children, but the ones that aren't stick out like a sore thumb. If you discipline and control your children in public, then I thank you...it makes going out to eat or shop a lot more enjoyable. Mistakes ARE inevitable, but the ones I'm talking about are completely avoidable...

 

Parents and children are funny things. Everyone has a viewpoint for either and that those viewpoints change with time respectively.
I for one believe that a parent is responsible for the actions of a "child" until that child grows up and develops an understanding of what is right and what is wrong and what is acceptable behavior (usually around the teenage years). It is our responsibility as adults and parents to provide that "child" with a good foundation of what is right and wrong and what is acceptable behavior. It is obvious that we can not be with our children 24/7 and we can not control the actions of our kids once they reach a certain age. But we have to hope that the "foundation" we lay for our children is learned early on by them by the time they reach that age and that they fully understand the repurcussions and effects of the actions and decisions they make. And it is the parents responsibility to do so.
If the child never learns the founding principals of right, wrong and acceptable behavior, then it is the parents fault. If the child then grows into a teenager not knowing these values, that is a very bad thing to happen as it illustrates irresponsible parenting and could easily lead to a lot of problems for that child/teen later in life. If the child has learned these founding values and has progressed into the teen years, then we know that the child/teen knows what is right and wrong and should be responsible for their own actions, but the parent is also still responsible for continuing to nurture the teen and enforce these values the best that they can. But it is at this time in the child's life that the adult can no longer make all of the decisions for that child, but at no time should a parent take a laissez-faire stance. A parents input is always valuable, but the child will inevitably make the final decision.....this is what growing up is all about. But the child/teen needs to realize that the decision they make is one they will have to live with and suffer the consequences for. The parent should rarely, if at all, bail a child out of trouble for the decisions that they make, this is also part of growing up.
If my child were 16, knew that drinking and driving was wrong. Got stopped at a checkpoint, taken to jail for the night. I would get the call, go down and make sure he/she is ok, but I would not bail, or let them out of jail. It would be because my child made the decision, albeit a bad one, and now they would have to suffer the consequences of that action. Then when the teen got home......there would be punishment here too. This is an example and it enforces several things.
1) It shows the teen making a decision on their own and suffering the repurcsions, hopefully realizing that it was a VERY bad decision.
2) By not bailing him out, it shows that I agree that you made a bad decision. You made the decision, you pay the price and take responsibility for your action. You make the decision on your own, you pay the price on your own.
3) When he gets home there will be more enforcement of right/wrong and acceptable behavior, outside of the public enforcement. This enforces my stance as a responsible parent of what is allowed and hopefully teaches the child a lesson.

Basically, the child and parent are both responsible for their actions depending on maturity. But as a good parent you must make sure that the child knows what a good decision is. If the child knows and still opts not to abide, then its not the parents fault....I know, I was a rebel when I was young.....my poor parents. They taought me, but I still made bad decisions. But at least they did their job by enforcing these values and continued to do so even when I was in college, and I think that is the right thing to do. Now, I am in their shoes and am doing the same thing. Eventhough when I was younger and didnt abide as well as I should, I still knew at that time, what they were doing was right, but I also knew that they "couldnt make me".

Take this as you will, but parenting is tough, and there is no single person to blame, but I think a parent can minimize problems by being a good example and making the right decisions themselves, as well as enforcing/teaching right, wrong and acceptable behaviors. If every parent did this, it would be a much safer world, in my mind.

DwArFlOrD

 

well said...