Gryphon is Right

Yeah, the social aspect is a big consideration. Although I know a family who is planning to put their daughter into a private school for high school because they think the social aspect of school is too big of a distraction from her learning. I'm not sure that will solve the problem, but that's their plan.

With the options in homeschooling available today in terms of books, curriculum programs, co-ops, etc., it isn't necessarily about you teaching your child everything personally. Still, you're right in that there is a difference in being professional trained and experienced in something.

You know, maybe in life it will turn out that what you teach her about changing the oil in the car and working with computers will be more concretely valuable in her life than trigonometry. Who knows?

 

what puts diapers on her butt now certainly isn't anything i learned in school...but i guess it's all a process of what got me to where i am............in broadlands dodging foreclosure

 

woopity- WELL SAID! I too think the social aspect is soooo important, and i know several homeschool parents who make it a point to involve their kids in group activities either with other home schooled kids or locally provided groups- DLL, chess clubs, whatever.

I don't think any social situation as CHILDREN compares to that of a school. school makes him have to deal with and handle a bully that he can't help but see at lunch and recess, defend a kid with a problem even if HE doesn't like that kid either, and understand how his best friend today can be his worst enemy tomorrow and his best friend AGAIN 3 days later. That's what being 9 in school is about in addition to readin' ritin' and 'rithmatic. hard lessons but important ones that are shaping his maturity.

Life skills- the school system has definitely made them OUR responsibility. My son knows what bank interest is and sees the value of depositing his allowance instead of putting it in his wallet. (n those 57 cents a month get him excited beyond belief! lol) But the way his teacher set up the classroom, The Boy IS learning personal responsibility, budgeting his time to complete assisgnements, etc.

but again- different families function well with different situations. unless gryphon has me on ignore- I hope to get an answer to my question as to what constitutes "fortunate" enough to homeschool in his opinion...

 

I guess all of the above would apply and having a lot of good examples and a support network of other home-schooling families.

 

If you'll allow me, I'd like to comment as I see both sides from a professional standpoint in my work all over the country. This past week, I spent two full days in public schools observing classrooms and helping teachers implement specific interventions. I also spent two days conducting in-home consultations for homeschooling families in Charlottesville. I have worked with 200 schools in 35 states, and roughly 50 homeschooling families in 10 states.

Some children's natural learning styles fit perfectly with the current school system--they thrive in an environment that rewards conformity, following directions, listening to lectures, memorizing information and recalling information for timed tests. If you think about it, kids who thrive in this environment tend to be good corporate managers. There are some pretty amazing teachers in our schools and some who would make you shudder if you spent more than a minute in their classroom. In my experience, our teachers are pretty amazing people, but even they lament that "the system" is broken in so many ways.

Other children simply do not fit well within the current school system. They tend to be experiential learners with active imaginations, children who like to think and ask questions and forge their own paths, who like to explore, who think and relate to the world in very unique ways. They simply will not conform to "the system." These children often thrive in a homeschool environment, which allows for much more flexibility, experiential learning, gaining life skills and experiences that other children simply cannot be exposed to while they are in school. These children often grow up to become entrepreneurs--they are the visionaries and idea people.

So I don't think you can say one option is better or worse than the other in absolute terms. It depends on the nature of the child. And it depends on what the parents value. If you want broader exposure to theory and academics, then regular schools provide that. If you want exposure to very practical life skills and hands-on experience in a less stressful environment (for many intense kids), then homeschooling is a great option. I know many homeschooled kids who run their own businesses, earn money, have mutual funds, take lessons of all kinds to complement their curriculum (music, flying, etc.).

Let me address the idea of socialization. I do think schools can provide great lessons in building friendships and learning to overcome struggles with peers. One thing we forget, though, is that schools are very much an artificial construct with an environment that is not replicated in the real, adult world (for which we are presumably preparing our children). We put children together arbitrarily by age, not by ability or gifts and passions. At your office, is everyone the same exact age? Consider middle school. I have rarely met anyone who looks back on middle school with fondness! And there are some kids who just don't fit in and do get picked on (who later go on to thrive as adults and become our bosses, ha ha!) for their entire school years. So schools mainly provide 12 years of learning how to get along with kids your same age, which is fine, but also limiting. So I think that part is slightly overrated.

I think some of the misperceptions on socialization are left over from the days when homeschooled kids were primarily rural, religious separatists. This has changed dramatically. There are vast networks of homeschooling families, who now come from more affluent families (simply because it often requires more resources since one parent must stay home). From my experience, homeschool kids have much more exposure to the real, adult world throughout the day...and therefore tend to be more advanced when it comes to general conversations and interactions with people of all ages. Their parents will tell you, "We are raising our child to be an adult, so we like that he's comfortable in the adult world because that's where he is going to spend 80% of his life." Are some homeschool kids awkward? Absolutely. But don't necessarily attribute that to the homeschooling--their awkwardness and learning stlye may be the very reason they are being homeschooled. Some kids just don't "fit" as kids, but they are ready to be adults.

So make the decision based on what is best for YOUR child. Be confident in your choice and enjoy the benefits of each type of schooling. If you have questions, just let me know.

 

All well said!

 

Celebrate Calm,

Thank you for a very insightful post, and I think you nailed the socialization aspect better than anyone I've ever heard describe it. As you note, the modern-day school, which good for some kids, is a thoroughly artificial environment.

I wanted to add here that I know some home-schooling families where both parents work. It is possible, and one family I know has a live-in nanny (a "manny," actually) who handles the home-schooling of four very rowdy boys.

 

I am not trying to pick a fight because I agree with a lot of what you wrote, but I question 2 things. I thought we go to school to get an education and that, if anything, it's college that is supposed to help kids get accustomed to the "real" world as they usually go away to school, are living on their own (and I use that term loosely for some) for the first time an have to learn to deal with having to take care of the their own home (apt., etc...).

Secondly I disagree slightly in regards to the socialization aspect. I don't claim to know dozens and dozens of home schooled kids, but it has been my experience, with the kids I have hired or interacted with, that their social skills are lacking especially with their peers. Of course it could just be me.

 

Baywatch,

In what way did you find their social skills to be lacking?

 

Good questions. I guess it depends on what your definition of an "education" is. Parents have to ask, what is it that I want my child to learn? There are purely academic pursuits for the sake of challenging yourself mentally, but that have few practical applications in life. Most home schooling families, in my experience, take a more holistic view of an "education," mixing intellectual pursuits with exposure to real-world application and life skills.

With regard to socialization, your insight is very acute. Most of the kids I work with experience something called "asynchronous development"--meaning they are often advanced intellectually (therefore, they get bored in school and need extra challenges), but are slow to develop emotionally. If you have ever met these kids, you'll notice something interesting: they get along/communicate great with adults (because they relate intellectually to them more) and with younger children (because of their emotional delay)...but struggle with their peers. So in most cases, it isn't the home schooling that causes the socialization issues, but rather the underlying wiring that leads them to be homeschooled. Hope that makes sense.

 

Uh oh, Baywatch. Stand by to be put on "ignore"!

 

remember- the definition of PEER changes depending on where you are and what you are talking about. isn't it ALWAYS a random thing??

at work my peers in my dept. are all different ages, backgrounds and races. our common bond: our job.

online, my peers in certain blogs are from different countries, ages interest, job field income levels. our bond: love of food.

so why would school be any different than real life? an arbitrary "thing" bonds you, and you learn to socialize with each other because of AND in spite of your differences.

in boot camp i was surprised by how many of the girls had never seen in person or socialized with a black person until ME. home schoolers, kid who go to private all white, rich schools, kids who go to all black rich schools- all miss the element of diversity in their social circle unless as parents, we add that to their lives somehow....

**let me edit myself by saying DIVERSITY to me does not always fall along racial and economic lines- that's just the easiest example to make. there are SO many diff types of ppl you never meet if you aren't thrown into a melting pot- aggressive, passive aggressives, uses, psychotics, genuine sweethearts, givers, takers.. etc.

 

Well they could of not have been introduced to a nicer and more wonderful black girl.

 

They were unable to get along with anyone at work whether it be with people of their own age group, their supervisors or clients/customers. They could not communicate in an efficient manor and tended to lie. This is not to say that they were uneducated or stupid because I don't believe that to be the case. They did not seem to have anything in common with those they interacted with either. They were also very unreliable and on average, had a worse work ethic, than kids who were not home schooled.

I want to remind you (general terms) that I am basing my opinion on my experiences and am not trying to make any broad statements about home schooling. I also know that I could be describing almost any teenager, but as someone who hired, trained and worked closely with thousands of teenagers, I had more difficulty with those that were home schooled than those who were not.

 

You're absolutely right about the definition of peer. I hope I cleared that up in my previous post.

 

What makes school an "artificial environment"? What does that mean?

 

You just described my son to a T.

 

Baywatch,

I am sorry to hear that you had such bad experiences with home-schooled kids.

 

I'll let Celebrate Calm address your question since he made the comment initially. However, I will say that, as people, we are generally born into families if you are lucky (or, if you are like me, you were adopted into a family and were lucky for that reason). We are not born into the modern-day school with, for the most part, kids of the same age (not to mention, socio-economic stratum and race, as is not uncommon in some areas).