Pumpkin vandalism

Well, that is not the child's fault. Maybe it is some parents who need to be beat down instead!

 

Spend 10 minutes in the kids play area at Dulles Town Center on a Saturday night and you feel like teaching some of the older kids' parents a lesson. Little ones don't stand a chance in there. It looks like Pamplona...

 

If you're talking about the JetBlue thing on the upper level, that place is what my definition of hell looks like.

 

don't get me started... many parents let children who are too big in there. there is a height limit there, and many parents disregard it. its built for little guys, but people don't respect that.

 

Its that sense of entitlement that permeates society around there. I hate to say it, I see alot less of that here in Pittsburgh.

Er, except when you talk about the Pittsburgh 'Stillers' ...

 

Amen! That is why even with quads we make sure our kids behave. We did not have kids to let others raise them. It does not take a village to raise kids--it takes the parents!! (Great idea-duh?!)

When our kids misbehave in public (aka a restaurant or wherever), either my husband or myself will remove them for a walk outside. Why should others have to tolerate my kids' misbehavior? We have even left the restaurant or place we were at so that the kids are removed and not placated. I have even left a grocery store and left groceries if kids are "out of control".

We back each other up in our discipline styles. I even had one of my quads recently hold the door open for an elderly couple at Cracker Barrel. We have received compliments on kids' manners. One of my sons recently apologized to someone when he was rude--wow! Sometimes he or they will stand at the door until the people (all of them) go in the doors. Sometimes we have to motion for the quads to not hold the door forever! No, our kids (nor ourselves) are perfect--we just instill discipline and respect for others. We are strict but firm. Our kids have fun but they have learned they will not always get their way on every thing.

Hope every one has a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Foodie

 

Were it so for other parents!! Good for you!! There is no reason why children should not be disciplined in such a manner, no matter how inconvenient it may be for the parent.

 

Neil z--

Thanks for the kind words regarding my thoughts on childrearing in our family.

Of course, we have our "moments" also. Recently, one of my sons (one of my quads who will soon turn 7 years old) had a friend to spend the night and argued with his guest about sharing a Thomas train toy. After speaking to both boys, my son learned later his toys had to go on a "punishment shelf for a time-out for 1 week). We do this with all our kids toys, etc. It works from the standpoint--"out of sight--out of mind". The premise is that if the child does not respect our wishes or obey the family rules--the object or thing is out of reach. When amends are made, they can retrieve the toy or whatever privilege they lost. If this does not work, then they give "prized toy" away to some one who will value the item more than they did. Our son had to donate his Thomas train set to the homeless shelter in Reston (next to the Reston Library) for Thanksgiving. After all, if he did learn not "thanksgiving" why should he retain his train? Right?

You may think this is harsh--don't worry--my quads still have toys, etc.; but the idea is every thing they are given are privileges and we all work together in our family for common goals. Too many parents wish to be their kids' "best friends". That does not work--no wonder recently a young teen-aged girl spoke to me wishing that her mother and father would speak to her more about "life skills" not just obtaining the "latest and greatest toys". The girl had "well-meaning" parents; but found it hard to "carry through" on disciplinary actions. It was a "cry for help"--luckily the girl's parents are close friends of ours--and did not realize that the daughter was wanting--no make that needing--for her parents to "take away" cell phones, computer privileges, etc. After awhile, her parents "clued in"--and the girl's friends at first did not understand why their friend was not allowed to "hang out" with them. Afterwhile, the girl made new friends and her "old friends" later told her that they wished their parents spoke to them more "real" than "superficially". The girl is doing well and has a greatly improved relationship with her parents and a sense of well being for herself to empower her to make right choices in her young life.

Like Dr. Phil says--"find the kids' currency (i.e. what they prize most)--and take it away to show them where their possessions comes from". Works for us!

I hope parents will "wake-up"; no--we are not Perfect--Just Parents who "back each other up" in family life. Even if you both work alot and chauffeur your kids to activities (as we all do), some times the "activities" that are best spent is time with your kids "one on one". We try to spend time with each kid by ourselves. I did work full time when my kids were younger and quit because it was not worth to me to not be raising my own kids. Choices are hard but worth it.

Have a good Thanksgiving with your families.

Foodie