Teens at tot lots

you can be a fantastic parent and still have a d-bag of a kid. you can "know" who your kids are hanging out with and then one day that "kid who had such nice manners and comes from such a good family" is handing your kid pot or a bottle of mad dog 20/20. THAT kid might be your OWN.

you can only do so much as a parent before your kids start making their OWN decisions- and even the GREAT ones will make a bad decision now and then- the key is how do you respond to it and do they learn from it and not do it again.

i know more nice teens than bad seeds. the nice ones babysit, ae involved in sports or other activities, are getting awards, volunteer and speak politely and don't cause any trouble. THAT'S why they aren't talked about HERE- but read the LoCo paper- you'll see their names.
the pain-in-the-rear ones leave cups of piss on your doorstep against your door and ring the bell, throw eggs at your house and scrawl graffiti on the tennis courts. are they pulling drive-bys and selling their 7 year old step-sisters into prostitution like teens elsewhere in the US? no- but i don't appreciate having to pay $200 to get their "prank" off of my siding. i chose this neighborhood because i EXPECTED the worst typical teen behavior was annoying, not a felony. so while i count my blessings- i also feel these pranksters should have learned respect for their neighbor's property and should know better. and will see to the punishment of ANY that we find messing with our neighborhood.

i also happen to know PLENTY of parents who welcome their kids' friends in their pimped out basements: movie screens, video games, pool, ping pong, etc.- they simply don't allow baby making activity, drugs or alcohol- so maaaybe certain teens don't find their open basements fun. those are the ones roaming around looking for trouble to cause.

look- the battle will rage on forever. kids have PLENTY to do if they choose to do it- but no matter how much you have you ALWAYS want more. when my kid becaomes and adult, we are moving to a zip code with no schools.

 

Judging from the grammar of KER's posting it appears Ashburn already doesn't have schools. I mean what school would give a person a 4.0 average that would misspell words so badly and write run on sentences like that. If KER really got a 4.0 with that grammar than I apologize. It should be our schools that take the hit on that and apparently we have not done KER any favors by allowing this kind of second rate educational system to short change our children by not giving them the skills they need to succeed.

Regardless, I am with flynnibus. Bored in Ashburn? Give me a break. Where I grew up there where no tot lots, tennis courts, swimming pools, shopping plazas, Starbucks, sports theaters, Xbox, Playstation, Wii, iPods, laptops, desktops, HDTV, home theater, cable, satellite TV, FIOS, cell phones and I wasn't bored. In fact, the life that kids have here today is so far removed from when I grew up in the 70's and 80s that I can't even begin to comprehend it.

I like the joke that when a teen said "man you didn't have anything when you were a kid. You must have been really bored. What did you do?" And the man says "I don't know. I guess we were too busy inventing all those things you have now to be bored."

 

while i agree with your last 2 paragraphs, and laughed heartily at your last one- there's no need to insult ker. he or she is a newbie, and MOST people on message boards are more concerned about their message than their grammar. (only a few of us freaks go back and edit for grammar and spelling. )

let's be fair- MANY parents are to blame for Generation "X-pect" because they entertain the kids every freakin second of every freakin day! 4 different simultaneous sports, dance classes, chess classes, music lessons, 2 game systems (guilty- but to be fair, The MAN called the PS3 a "Blue Ray Player" so I was duped!) portable game systems, dvds in the car headrests, ipods, dvrs, phones, texts... maybe they don't know HOW to be creative because they don't ever HAVE to be.

that's one HUGE diff between them and us- we HAD to play kick the can because the one kid in the neighborhood with a ball was grounded, we made up four square in the street because our dad was parked under the basketball hoop and wouldn't move the car, we made up games because games weren't ALREADY MADE!

maybe we should look at OURSELVES and the generation WE are responsible for shaping. are we robbing them of any creativity by doing all the thinking for them? are we keeping them from developing ideas by letting electronics do all the work? are they unable to come up with independent ideas because we manage their schedules like personal assistants? THIS IS NOT A BLANKET endictment of all of us as parents, so please- no offense is meant and no fingers are being pointed. just a real observation of a real issue in the 'burbs.

not a sermon, just a thought....

 

I agree 100% with your Redon1 on all points. We do our children no favors at all by raising them in such an abundant and easy society.

My intent was not to insult KER at all but to point out the fact that if they really had a 4.0 GPA in school, which is a very, very, honorable achievement, the resulting grammar was just so bad by comparison. I can't help but think that if that is what passes for 4.0 then our schools are worse off than I ever thought. We as adults have done KER the greatest disservice by allowing our education system to deteriorate to such a low level.

 

It is always best to really proof your comments before commenting on another's.

 

JWF - That sounded like a long list of things for a young person to do in Ashburn. Let's look closer:

tot lots - under dispute right here as a place for teens to visit
tennis courts - OK if you want to play, you probably wouldn't be welcome to sit and chat there
swimming pools - excellent, perfect, but not available 3 seasons
shopping plazas - ok, but still likely to draw complaints about loitering
Starbucks - great, but requires spending money to be welcome
sports theaters - requires spending money to be welcome
Xbox, Playstation, Wii, iPods, laptops, desktops, HDTV, home theater, cable, satellite TV, FIOS, cell phones - mostly indoors, isolating, electronic time-killers that have their place but are not comparable to getting out of the house and socializing.

Just sayin, the fact that they might sit on a tot lot for a while to me does not seem like cause for concern, as long as they respect a little kid who wants to use the equipment.

 

well said! i found the answer: TEENS- GET JOBS. work at the local places you can walk to and then you will have money to spend at Robeks!

I always thought that corner lot where Cafe Panache used to be would have been a great spot for an arcade style teen hangout. Gut it- don't bother selling food- Sal's Pizza. Maggie Moos and Robeks are all right there! they can get a slice or whatever and eat it at table in the arcade. Juke box, games, air hockey, deejay once a month... the problems are cost and liability since some idgits WILL try to destroy the place, other idgits will try to drink and do/sell drugs there. i know _I_ don't want to be the one in charge of a place like that- some maybe some former law enforcement guys...? i would LOVE to see a well run, supervised teen hangout in walking/bike riding distance, i just couldn't run/finance it.

 

A long as children are present, then I am still totally against teens hanging out at "TOT" lots. If they are simply going to socialize, then do it at someone's house, on a deck or porch.

Or do the teens want to socialize away from parents eyes and ears to be able to do/say things that they normally wouldn't in front of mom? So sure, let them hang out at tot lots and do/say those things in front of little kids.
And please, don't say that "all teens do not behave that way", cuz if they really don't, then they would have no need to socialize away from a parent.

 

Teens have no reason to hangout at the tot lots. The equipment is not sized for them. The kids that are "hanging out" need to find something constructive to do. (hint parents) My teen has almost 0 time in her days to just "hang." Teens with too much time on their hands rarely use it to good use. I know I didn't when I was that age.

 

I tend to agree, a few days ago we (my almost 3 year old and myself) attempted to use the "tot lot" by the Old Stone House and there was a large group of teens "hanging out".

When my little guy wanted to use the swing they did move (albeit begrudgingly ) after I asked if my child could use the swing.

However the foul language & dirty looks were a bit unnecessary, I was polite yet assertive. It was if I had offended and I had the temerity to ask them to move along...and it was met with rude willful behavior...shocker.

As a mom, I think it's a bit unsettling to request a large group of teens (>6 teens) to move along just so my kid can use play equipment built for his size.

 

I don't understand why the kids don't just hang out in their yards with their friends. I would much rather have my kid in my yard talking with their friends.

One thing that I have noticed is how much more aggressive the kids are today.

Last Friday night we had a ring and run...which is usually no big deal except that when I opened the front door the group of teens (8 of them - 6 boys and 2 others) were all laying down in the middle of our cul-de-sac. This was at 9:45 pm.

I was a little surprised that they would just be laying on the ground in the cul-de-sac since I could see them even though it was dark.

They then started yelling at me with the F bomb and taunting me. They then ran up the street.

This is not the innocent behavior of nice kids. This is aggressive behavior which can clearly lead to escalation...on both sides.

I did call the sheriff and report the matter.

 

Hey I have an excuse. I only had a 3.5 GPA in school. And frankly I will be the first to admit I need help with my grammar all the time. Thanks for the catch. I don't mind being corrected. Language is the most important contribution to any culture. We should all strive to use it properly. Even if some of us have to strive more than others.