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Teenage internet usage

Discussion in 'Community Broadband & Computers' started by ayayagirl, Nov 2, 2008.

  1. ayayagirl

    ayayagirl New Member

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    My husband and I have a 16 year old son and a 12 year old son who are on the computer a lot. We were wondering from those of you who also have teens, how you regulate the issues of internet usage in your home and to share your experiences. How do you set parameters on hours(so they are not staying up all night), viewable content and any other issues you have dealt with. Our concerns are mainly with the 16 year old, but the 12 year old will be stretching his limits soon enough. Any thoughts would be appreciated. We are aware of the technological fixes, however we have an extremely tech savvy teen, who wants to be the next Steve Jobs!!!
     
  2. Ozgood

    Ozgood Not a space alien

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    One of the more common suggestions I have heard is to place the computer in a non-private location. Allowing Teenagers to hide in their room allows them greater "freedom" than if the computer is in the kitchen, for instance.
     
  3. ayayagirl

    ayayagirl New Member

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    I guess I should expand on what is already in place. We are hard wired and there are no computers allowed in bedrooms, except that the 16 year old has a lap top, and we are considering using a wireless connection. We are in bed at 10 and it is difficult to enforce a teenager to go to bed at a particular time.
    Thanks again.
     
  4. Chsalas

    Chsalas Member

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    Sure it is, you can make it a rule that he must be in bed by a particular time. However rules being made to be broken, you can also set your router to shut down particular users at certain times. That will help "enforce" the rules.
     
  5. Ozgood

    Ozgood Not a space alien

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    Echo Chsalas. unplug the router or the wireless when you go to bed.

    And of course, if the teenager breaks the rules, take the laptop away from them.
     
  6. Villager

    Villager Ashburn Village Resident

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    This is a perfectly valid question and you have some good answers - there is software and hardware to regulate online times. However, you're asking the people on this forum and they (we?) are the ones who are somewhat addicted already!! :p
     
  7. redon1

    redon1 aka Aphioni

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    my son is only TEN and we have had restrictions in place for him for over a year. amazing what trying to go to an innocent game website can result in... i wouldn't wait on schooling him on internet safety and the house rules. he is at the age that's VERY vulnerable to internet predators- still trusting enogh to believe that any "kid" on line IS a kid, and before you know it a sicko knows what school he goes to and where he lives, what kind of clothes he wears- it's scary.

    for the 12 yr old you might consider what we do- we have a Mac, set up so that my son has his own logon, but we have the password so he can't go on without one of us signing him in. he can only go to sites we pre approve, can't use google (they find out YOUNG how to use google images, and how to remove the safe search if they REALLY want to)

    i am not technical at all but i know there are ways to see every site your kids go to, to read any IMs they send and monitor their emails.

    i am all for laying down the rules, giving them the choice to obey them, and sticking to the consequences promised if they break the trust.

    mine is too young to need the privacy that your 16 yr old will want, but i would insist on knowing their passwords. maybe you never use them, but if you DO and they lied or changed the password- priveleges to privacy GONE.
     
  8. napper

    napper New Member

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    There's "Blue Coat K9 Web Protection". That's what I use, and it's free. You can set it to whatever websites you don't want to be seen. It allows you to monitor internet useage such as where and when. I think there's also capability of setting time limits.

    We have the computer in the open and our teenager isn't allowed to bring the laptop in the bedroom, even though we have the monitoring system.
     
  9. Pa2Va

    Pa2Va New Member

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    I use Spector Pro (http://www.spectorsoft.com/). I get a report of every website and every KEYSTROKE my kids enter. Yes, my teenagers know that I have it. I have even printed out my youngest daughters AIM chat one time and asked her to read it to me. She bursted in tears. If you can't read it to your parents, you shouldn't be typing it. All three of my teenagers are aware I moniter all three of our laptops. I have all of their passwords for emails, Facebooks and MySpace. I wish more parents monitored their children. It's a disgrace of what I see on Facebook. Parents, the drinking is a REGULAR occurance and the kids think it's great to post photos of the partying and the making out! Not to switch the topic. Anyhow, until my teenagers are out of my house, paying their own way, there is no privacy.
     
  10. napper

    napper New Member

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    Exactly!!!
     
  11. napper

    napper New Member

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    Luckily, I don't have to worry about my kid using Myspace, Facebook or chat, but if I did, you can be darn sure I would get Spector Pro. What a great piece of software. Like you said, it's a shame more parents don't monitor their children. I think they are afraid to be "hated" by their kids, or maybe just too lazy to care what their children are doing. I love mine too much not to be a strong parent.
     
  12. redon1

    redon1 aka Aphioni

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    out of curiosity- why don't you have to worry about your kid using myspace or facebook? a coworker's daughter wasn't allowed to use the computer at home but she created a myspace page on her friend's computer. imagine mom's surprise when another mom alerted her about the questionable "friends" on her daughter's page.

    just do a search for profiles in this area and you'll be surprised at the content, fibs, and madness.
     
  13. napper

    napper New Member

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    I only know because my child is always here and has no interest in that. He does computer games. I'm sure you're thinking, "but you never know". I check once in a while, just to be on the safe side. ;)
     
  14. webeadams

    webeadams New Member

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    This is a great topic for me- I've been wondering the same thing about my 8 yr old! He loves the computer especially shooting games and games like Runescape. I have the laptop in a public place, he's not allowed on before 7 am, no computer before school, only 2 hrs a day. I check periodically what websites he's been to and I often look over his shoulder to see exactly which games he's playing. He's not allowed on YouTube without a grown-up. We've talked at length about not giving out any info, that just because someone says he's a 10 yr old kid doesn't mean it's true, etc. but he would be on the computer all day if I let him. It's so scary what's out there. I was just curious about Facebook, went on there and within 60 sec I stumbled on x-rated material. It was just unreal what some of these kids were posting. I love the Spector software - thanks for that! I will definitely be buying that.
     
  15. redon1

    redon1 aka Aphioni

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    yep- you are right on with what i was thinking. :) last year, a friend at school told my son to go to a certain site that had kid's games on it but also had pornographic pop ups. he told us about it and when we went to the site- which seemed innocent enough- we couldn't BELIEVE that a site full of kiddie games had graphic pop ups!

    we take a lot of precautions that may seem over the top, but the end goal is The Boy being smart and vigilant online as he gets older and getting him into good habits now.
     
  16. Chsalas

    Chsalas Member

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    The fact is it doesn't have to be your child, it could be your child's friends that post pictures of your child, without their's or your's permission.

    Keep vigilant.
     
  17. Ozgood

    Ozgood Not a space alien

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    I am very glad that parents are realizing that the Internet is no place for children to wander unescorted.

    You would not send your 10 year old alone to wander around DC right? Why would any parent let their kid wander around the internet by themselves.

    The Internet is an adult environment. While there are many nice kid-friendly websites, on the whole the internet is not kid-friendly.

    Unfortunately the Internet can't be made "kid-safe", so it is, as always, up to the parents to protect their kids as they see fit.

    It is good to see parents taking an active role in their responsibility to keep their kids safe.
     
  18. webeadams

    webeadams New Member

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    Yes, the friends...my son had a friend who showed him a shooting game where they were shooting the "ex-wife". When he came home he said, "Mommy, what's an ex-wife?" It was from addictinggames.com.

    redon1- is that game site still out with the x-rated pop-ups but kid-friendly games? Just want to make sure my son doesn't go there.
     
  19. JLC

    JLC Member

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    We have Bsafe Online installed on our computes. It's annoying as every time I go to a new, potentially "unsafe" website I have to enter a password, but it works. I think I'll look into Spector Pro and see how it compares.

    I also regularly log onto my kids' email accounts and read their incoming and outgoing emails. Same with text messages on my son's phone. I know that's not a foolproof way to see what's going on and they can always delete stuff before I read it, but I do it anyway. I've told them that I do this and they know my intentions are to keep them safe, not just to be nosey.
     
  20. redon1

    redon1 aka Aphioni

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    i wish i remembered the name of the site- this was ove a year ago. but if i come up with it i will definitely post it here.
     

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